I have heard the following idea many times and in many different varieties,"You can't protect your kids from everything, you have to let them get out there and sample a little of everything, or they'll rebel as soon as they can." Usually this is said by parents who are either telling me why I shouldn't homeschool my children or make certain rules. Sometimes it is said when someone has challenged something their child is doing such as watching certain TV shows, reading certain books, or dating, etc.
First, I want to say that the whole comment is based on a faulty premise: that I am trying to shield my children from any and every harsher element of the real world, and that I actually believe I can protect them from everything that I do not want in their lives. I have no intention or desire to keep them from ever having difficulties. I let them make mistakes.
However, I want you to think long and hard about this, my reader friend. Your children have no one but you to give them a nurturing upbringing. If you do not give them a place to be who they are and learn who God made them to be, no one else will.
Even the most hands-off parents will protect their kids from something. I know this because your children are not out playing on the freeway right now. You know that some mistakes are just too costly to let them make. You have a God given desire to shield your child from things that will harm him. Certainly there is a time and place for young people to experience the hardships of life. It just happens that there is also a time and place for parents to teach right and wrong in an environment that will allow the child to practice choosing right.
I have a hard time digesting the fact that some people actually believe the second part of the comment they parrot. You need to let your child sample some of everything? Or even various good and bad things? Really? Is this what God tells us to do? I think not. He tells us not even to put our foot on the path of evil, because he knows our sinful tendency to stray. He tells us that before us is a choice between good and bad and then tells us to choose good!
So are we supposed to invite Satanists to our home in order to "let our children know what's out there?" What about pedophiles? I know, I'm being facetious. But we have to take it to the extremes sometimes to cause ourselves to think. Are there elements which we allow into our children's lives that can harm them just as much as these things? Perhaps not outwardly, but what about inwardly? There is much to sample in this world. Whatever we are giving our child samples of will determine their appetite. If you raise your children on candy and sodas, they will not normally choose to eat raw spinach. Rear them on horror movies, and that is what they will like. Give them the latest shallow pop CD, and they will absorb its words and rhythm into their hearts. Rent the latest God mocking movie filled with "adult themes", and you will have a young porn addict on your hands before you know it.
Parents, there is an alternative. More on that at the end.
The last part of this tired phrase really seems ironic to me. The people who believe in sampling everything often accuse more protective parents of living in fear. As in "you don't let your kids do this or that because you're afraid of....", fill in the blank.
However, listen to what is being said here. If you raise them in such a way that they don't get to follow certain inclinations they may have, then "they will rebel". Is the God we serve too demanding? No, he is not. He has high standards, but gives us grace in order that through His love we may accomplish what He has set before us. Is it not fear which is prompting the fear of possible future rebellion? God in His wisdom has given human beings a free will.
I have seen all sorts of children rebel against God, parents, and society. But that can happen regardless of how much Harry Potter you let your kid read. Even if you are a "cool" parent who takes your kids to rock concerts and let them get drunk, they might still choose not to follow God. Yes, I realize that there is such a thing as over-sheltering children, and sometimes those kind rebel too. However, the simple fact is that these children do not truly belong to us. We must raise them the way God wants us to, in fear and trembling because they are His children, not ours. And we must trust Him to be the Author and the Finisher of their faith.
So what is a parent to do? Many people wiser than I have written on parenting. I will simply say that we must always view ourselves as stewards of someone else's treasured blessings. Jesus has given us these vulnerable little souls for a very brief season to raise for Him. We will answer to Him for each choice we make concerning them.
Look in His word to see what you should let them watch, read, listen to. Ask Him what kinds of places they should go, and whose authority they should be under. Find someone whose children you admire, who seem happy, and find out what they do. Have fun, make your home a wholesome, happy place, and love, love, love, these people. God means for them to be your best friends. Treat them as such!
First, I want to say that the whole comment is based on a faulty premise: that I am trying to shield my children from any and every harsher element of the real world, and that I actually believe I can protect them from everything that I do not want in their lives. I have no intention or desire to keep them from ever having difficulties. I let them make mistakes.
However, I want you to think long and hard about this, my reader friend. Your children have no one but you to give them a nurturing upbringing. If you do not give them a place to be who they are and learn who God made them to be, no one else will.
Even the most hands-off parents will protect their kids from something. I know this because your children are not out playing on the freeway right now. You know that some mistakes are just too costly to let them make. You have a God given desire to shield your child from things that will harm him. Certainly there is a time and place for young people to experience the hardships of life. It just happens that there is also a time and place for parents to teach right and wrong in an environment that will allow the child to practice choosing right.
I have a hard time digesting the fact that some people actually believe the second part of the comment they parrot. You need to let your child sample some of everything? Or even various good and bad things? Really? Is this what God tells us to do? I think not. He tells us not even to put our foot on the path of evil, because he knows our sinful tendency to stray. He tells us that before us is a choice between good and bad and then tells us to choose good!
So are we supposed to invite Satanists to our home in order to "let our children know what's out there?" What about pedophiles? I know, I'm being facetious. But we have to take it to the extremes sometimes to cause ourselves to think. Are there elements which we allow into our children's lives that can harm them just as much as these things? Perhaps not outwardly, but what about inwardly? There is much to sample in this world. Whatever we are giving our child samples of will determine their appetite. If you raise your children on candy and sodas, they will not normally choose to eat raw spinach. Rear them on horror movies, and that is what they will like. Give them the latest shallow pop CD, and they will absorb its words and rhythm into their hearts. Rent the latest God mocking movie filled with "adult themes", and you will have a young porn addict on your hands before you know it.
Parents, there is an alternative. More on that at the end.
The last part of this tired phrase really seems ironic to me. The people who believe in sampling everything often accuse more protective parents of living in fear. As in "you don't let your kids do this or that because you're afraid of....", fill in the blank.
However, listen to what is being said here. If you raise them in such a way that they don't get to follow certain inclinations they may have, then "they will rebel". Is the God we serve too demanding? No, he is not. He has high standards, but gives us grace in order that through His love we may accomplish what He has set before us. Is it not fear which is prompting the fear of possible future rebellion? God in His wisdom has given human beings a free will.
I have seen all sorts of children rebel against God, parents, and society. But that can happen regardless of how much Harry Potter you let your kid read. Even if you are a "cool" parent who takes your kids to rock concerts and let them get drunk, they might still choose not to follow God. Yes, I realize that there is such a thing as over-sheltering children, and sometimes those kind rebel too. However, the simple fact is that these children do not truly belong to us. We must raise them the way God wants us to, in fear and trembling because they are His children, not ours. And we must trust Him to be the Author and the Finisher of their faith.
So what is a parent to do? Many people wiser than I have written on parenting. I will simply say that we must always view ourselves as stewards of someone else's treasured blessings. Jesus has given us these vulnerable little souls for a very brief season to raise for Him. We will answer to Him for each choice we make concerning them.
Look in His word to see what you should let them watch, read, listen to. Ask Him what kinds of places they should go, and whose authority they should be under. Find someone whose children you admire, who seem happy, and find out what they do. Have fun, make your home a wholesome, happy place, and love, love, love, these people. God means for them to be your best friends. Treat them as such!
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