Homeschooling Advice

So many new homeschool moms are running on empty. It can be extremely confusing and overwhelming to sift through all the advice, material, and teaching methods out there. Also, many veteran moms have gotten a case of burn out. So following are a few thoughts on homeschooling I have had over the eight years we've been doing it.

I have found that you cannot homeschool well until your children recognize your authority. If they don't yet obey cheerfully and quickly, and aren't helpful in chores and housework, nothing will go smoothly. You may get school done, but you may be stressed out with their uncooperative behavior and then the house is a wreck. Once they are trained to obey well and do their chores responsibly, life is much easier. I know this is easier said than done. Especially if they are coming out of a school situation and they believe that the teacher or their peers know more than you do. But time invested in this area will pay off.

Training in character and godliness is foundational to a smoothly running home/homeschool. When our children are motivated out of a love for God, and realize that they are part of a family team then the academic side will follow much more easily. I think that Bible reading and prayer time should be our priority each day. We have been given such a blessing from God in being able to be with and nurture our children. I don't want to waste this golden opportunity to fill their minds and hearts with His word. Yet this is often the first thing that slips away during a hectic day at our house! We just keep pressing on. I have never spoken with a mom of homeschool graduates who said "Gee, I wish we had worked harder on those quadratic equations"; what I hear is "I wish we had not let God take second or third priority in our lives", or "I'm so glad we were able to put Him first". We make it a point to eat breakfast together and read a chapter every morning, keeping it light and friendly.

We need to correct our default settings. We, myself included, seem to feel that as soon as we begin homeschooling, we are sort of an institution. Homes are not schools. Homes are formation centers for human beings. It has been well said "You are a mother, not a teacher, your husband is a father, not a principal." We homeschool the way we were schooled unless we make a conscious choice to do otherwise. Yes, many times workbooks and textbooks are appropriate. But I hear so many moms say,"I'm too busy being the teacher to be the mom I want to be." Then be the mom.

You taught your little ones the ABC's and how to ride a bike didn't you? Home learning is the norm, not the anomaly. Sending your child away to experts to learn inefficiently what you could have taught easily and naturally is the stranger thing to do. Education is best when it is in the context of a relationship. When our example Jesus wanted to educate his disciples did he sit them down in chairs with workbooks and lecture for eight hours a day? Or did he "speak of these commandments when you sit, when you walk along the road," etc. in the context of everyday life? Certainly you want to have some sort of structure to your day, and even have a work time. But you do not have to enslave your children to a program.

Be flexible. Always keep the needs (not whims) of your child's heart in the forefront of your mind. If you see that your little wiggly boy hates sitting at the table for two hours filling out workbook pages then by all means, go out and look for frogs or play swords with him! Break the seatwork up into 15 minute increments with playtime in between. Our goal here is to create a love for learning in our little people. Remember, education is not the filling of a bucket, but the lighting of a fire. Do something fun each and every day! Cook together, work together, play together.

Think of the many ways it is possible to learn something. Talk to someone who is passionate about something. Try a new hobby. Watch a good documentary. Don't limit yourself!

One of the most influential decisions we have made is to really limit or get rid of the TV. Television has such a powerful hold on our culture and our mind and attention. Sometimes, if it is even an option each day, little minds and big ones to can get obsessed by it. Is it time to watch TV yet mom? Oh please, just this one show! What about after I finish this math? You don't want to be constantly having to decide, and be the bad guy. And there is so much time lost to the TV. What could you have been doing instead? Building a fort? Reading Treasure Island? Playing frisbee?

By setting strict guidelines on the TV, you force yourself and your youngsters to use your brain. So your two year old is having an awful day and you can't get school done with the 7th grader. If the TV is not an option you must find a relational way to solve the problem. Sit Junior at the table with some macaroni and string and have him "do school like big brother". I'm not saying that everyone should cease any and all TV viewing or that television itself is evil. But moms, if you are spending your time watching sit-coms or on the internet doing whatever, you need to consider the example you're setting, and the time not spent building a relationship.

Above all, make your family your best friends. Life is too precious for regrets. If you have your children's hearts, and they have yours, these things will fall into place. Respect them as people. Value them more than that phone conversation. Give them grace. Have fun, be joyful, and love Jesus together. That's what it's all about after all!