The Real World Meets the Chicken Coop

How many of you were threatened with physical harm by one of your co-workers today? Ladies, were any of you threatened with assault by one of the men you work with? Did anyone touch you inappropriately as you walked past? Of course not you say? Well then, what about laugh at you because you've gained some weight in the past few years and call you hurtful names in front of everyone? Or if you are a man, were you mocked today because you aren't as tall, muscled or manly as some of the other men you work with? No? You're probably thinking about how such things just don't usually happen in your world. About how uncommon that would be. About how if there were not a good and quick way to stop such intimidation, you'd be looking for a new job very quickly.
Well then, why do we send our children to places where this behavior is common? In the adult world, most of us do not look for terrible labels to put upon others, then publicly taunt them day after day. But children do. Everyone has heard the phrase "children can be so cruel." Yes they can. More cruelty happens than we as adults would be willing to put up with. Yet many send their young and vulnerable children, these who they love so much and would give their very lives for, into this gauntlet every day to "be salt and light." Children are very impressionable. Tell them who they are enough and that is who and what they become. Fat girl. Hoe. Wimp. Stupid. Scum bag. Are we sending those who we should be protecting out into a situation we ourselves would not be willing to face, day after day, year after year?
So many times we tell ourselves that things are not this way at our childrens school, they have a great teacher. I have worked in the classroom environment, and all of my readers have gone to school in one. The teacher is just one person. Please, don't place such an unrealistic expectation on her. She can not monitor every communication that goes on among 20-30 students. Surely you remember? This woman can not possibly be expected to assume responsibility for what goes on when she is trying to teach, on the playground, in the bathrooms, and that whispered word in the hall.
Maybe your child is not one of the ones labeled so harshly. I am so happy for you. But are they one of the ones who is intimidating others? Please, don't just quickly say "of course not, we are a Christian family. We teach him better." What children do to learn to survive in a community of under-supervised and often unkind peers would surprise you. If nothing else, they are learning to stifle who they really are so they will not be picked on. The wonderful person your child came into this world as is submerged under this "groupthink", this pack mentality. So he can survive.
If you have ever owned chickens, then you have a great example of a group of children with the pack mentality. There are usually a few dominant chickens. They get the best places to sleep in the roost, they get the best places to peck for seeds and bugs. The other chickens know when they see them coming to scoot over or be pecked. And God have mercy on the poor chicken who gets an open wound. The others will mercilessly and viciously peck him until he is dead.
Poor wounded kid, whose ears stick out too much. Poor little girl, who weighs a lot. Poor pecked boy who just does not fit in somehow, and is ridiculed day after day. I'm so sorry your momma thinks you should "learn to deal with it, we all have to deal with it sometime." ANATHEMA!! Your parents are not spit on in the hall every day while the others snicker. And all the time they are rationalizing your agony...peck...peck....peck....you're hurting, why are they doing this to you....."what's wrong with me?....I'm such a loser"....peck....peck...."why does it have to be this way, Mom can't I please stay home from school?"...peck....peck. Then you wonder why they turn to drugs and alcohol, sex, cutting, binging and purging, and isolate themselves in their rooms or on the computer as soon as they're old enough. Why don't they communicate with you any more? YOU PUT THEM IN THIS POSITION. You let this happen! They've learned to deal with it on their own the best they can with a parent who believes that their child should have to deal with things they themselves do not.
And if your young person is on the other side, congratulations. You have either raised a dominant chicken or they've put their trust and efforts somewhere other than in the loving heart of their parent. You may still have a great relationship by the grace of God. I'm happy for you. But she has still seen and learned day after day a lesson not true in the "real world." Fit in or be ridiculed. Walk to the beat of someone else's drum.
I know how much you love your child. I am not saying that anyone is deliberately out to hurt their precious son or daughter. I have perhaps spoken harshly in this post. It's nothing against you, reader. I simply felt the need to speak very candidly. I want children to be placed above our race for the status quo. All I ask is that we remove our rose colored glasses long enough to stare into the possibly harsh light of the truth. And though its glare sometimes blinds, I think our beloved young people will be better off for our efforts to see.